Every divorce has its own specific set of issues, and therefore deserves an individually tailored resolution. And yet, when divorcing couples first meet with their lawyers, a great number of them come with the same common concerns, and questions. The questions reflect the worries and fears that come with divorce, but the answers we give couples show the difference between what many people think divorce is, versus what it can be.
What kind of lawyer should I have? Do I need a “bulldog?”
Because many people see divorce as an adversarial, contentious process, they assume that they need a tough, adversarial lawyer to handle a courtroom battle. However, we find it more valuable for a divorce lawyer to think about how his or her client’s life will be after the divorce. This means having a lawyer who will listen to a client’s concerns, provide information on the full range of options available, and develop a strategy that helps preserve assets and protect children.
What are my options for resolving divorce?
Despite the images people have of courtroom divorces and judges handing down decrees, most divorces are settled out of court. Unless there’s a compelling reason to take a case to court, we work with our clients to determine how to resolve the case without litigation. Couples have the option to negotiate a settlement through lawyers, to go the collaborative divorce route and negotiate issues in a productive, solution-minded setting, or to enlist a mediator’s help.
Will divorce destroy my children’s lives?
While divorce can be a challenging transition for children as well as parents, statistics show that it is not the divorce, but rather conflict that affects children the most. Parents can help minimize the effect of divorce on their children by selecting a less adversarial divorce process, and following a few common-sense rules: be civil to each other during the divorce, don’t share sensitive information about the divorce proceedings with the children, and focus on the children’s well-being throughout the divorce.